The leader of the Geats, Hygelac's thane,
Beowulf craved a food-meal with a hunger,
greater than any thirty men.
He rode steadfast for fifty-eight days,
accompanied by eleven warriors
rigged in shirts of chain mail.
Their decorated armor glinted in the light
as they followed their mighty leader.
They arrived at Heorot deli,
there was not a deli more magnificent or
with more varieties of meat from the Boar's head,
the symbol adorning the warriors' decorated helmets.
Beowulf, son of Ecgtheow, rewarded his men
for their bravery with golden rings and decorated shields.
Lo! The party entered through the hinged-barrier,
while one valiant Dane ally was posted outside.
The group roamed deep within
searching through the mist-band
for the makings of a fine banquet.
Wiglaf, son of Weohstan, carried
cans of the most delicious meat, sea-chicken.
Hygelac's thane, alone. sought the precious mead
in decorated pitchers, a treasure that
would surely put the band in high spirits.
Hellmann’s mayonnaise was on the list as well.
Beowulf's task was daunting and perilous.
The warrior challenged the frigid air of the ice-closet
with the body heat of forty men and emerged victorious.
The Geat leader announced:
"My task was daunting and perilous, but I challenged
the frigid air of the ice-closet and my body heat
of fifty men helped me emerge victorious!"
Once the gathering was completed,
a great feast was held in celebration of
the warriors' success.
Poets, who happened to be shopping for cold
cuts at the exact moment, stopped to sing
adventurous tales for the Geats, while a traveling
orchestra of harp players conveniently passed by
and provided musical accompaniment with little preparation.
The generous feast was over and
the Divine lord guided the warriors' on their return.
They approached the exit
and Beowulf, grandson of Hrethel spoke:
"We have gone through with a glorious endeavor
and been much favored in this fight
with hunger we dared to face."
The night-stalker crept behind the counter
going unseen by Hygelac's retainers.
The God cursed creature, descendent of Cain,
bane of mankind, the shopkeeper,
demanded an unwarranted set of gifts,
a treasure of decorated iron and paper
for his ringing-box.
Many a warrior had fallen pray
to the demon's company of blue-clothed
kinsmen and their iron hand-restraints.
War was looming for the weather-Geats
but the Almighty Lord was weaving them
Beowulf, resolute in his decorated helmet,
drew his sword to match the scourge
of the earth's black C-shaped weapon
attached to a spiraled cord.
The demon spoke into the hell-device:
"Help, Police! There are a bunch of
guys with weapons in my store
threatening to attack me!"
The prince of the war-Geats
wielded the hilt and swung
resolutely in an arc.
The hell spawn, spry and scrappy, dodged
and began to eye-rain in the corner.
The strongest, bravest,
most attractive of warriors, Beowulf,
swung his blade again and severed
the demon’s head.
Blood sprayed onto the elated swordsman.
The victory over the shopkeeper
prompted another feast.
Poets and harp players performed
more epic songs of heroism.
A sudden shot sfrom soutdoors
stopped selebration swiftly.
The Dane, Hrethric, son of Hrothgar,
grandson of Half-dane,
great grandson of Beow,
great-great grandson of Shield,
brother-in-law of Ingeld the Heatho-Bard,
collapsed into the entrance.
Blood flowed freely from his wound.
Beowulf, as wise as he is mighty,
did not grieve for Hrethic.
He sought vengeance against
the poets and harp players. Seven Geats
fell in battle and Beowulf, the Geat Captain,
crushed his remaining enemies.
He gripped his final foe’s wrist
and with the strength of eighty men,
ripped it from the arm socket so he could play harp no more,
for he was dead as well.
In celebration of his victory,
Beowulf had another feast.
A mighty voice roared from outside:
"This is the Police, Give up. We have you surrounded!"
Beowulf, son of Ecgtheow, roared with a mightier voice:
"Shut your word-hoard! I am Beowulf!
My heroism knows no bounds!"
The police replied:
"Come out with your hands up!"
And Beowulf, with his decorated megaphone, announced:
"I made a pledge to retrieve the severed hands
that crushed my Geat kinsmen and if I should fall
and suffer death for the cause, take care of
my young company and return my treasures to Hygelac!"
The lesser voice responded: