Size / / /

Your scars form marks
along your torso, cut right under the
left nipple and over towards your right.
At night, you dream that your mother
still calls you your daughter, and not the son
she denies she has. I wake with you inside
my arms, dry the bed sheets
of tears and make you tea.

We count the leaves. Read them like our
grandmothers used to: A broom and a pair of dice
inside your chamomile. And in mine? A ladder
reaching from your past in kitten shoes
and mini-skirts towards the future
in tuxedos and bow ties for our wedding.

You smile & we go back to sleep. In the dark
my hands find your scars and I whisper your name
(Jacob, Jacob, Jacob)
until morning comes again.

Evelyn Deshane’s creative and nonfiction work has appeared in Plenitude Magazine, Briarpatch Magazine, The Atlantic, Lackington’s, and Bitch Magazine, among other publications. Evelyn (pron. Eve-a-lyn) received an MA from Trent University and is currently completing a PhD at the University of Waterloo. Evelyn’s most recent project #Trans is an edited collection about transgender and nonbinary identity online. Visit for more info.
Current Issue
22 Apr 2019

The Myriad Drumbeats of Afrofuturism: Afro-Brazilian Speculative Fiction 
Variations on a Name: The -Punks of Our Times 
Quiet Places and Dark Spaces 
Eurydice Stands with Attitude 
Podcast: Eurydice Stands with Attitude 
By: Rebecca Bennett
Podcast read by: Ciro Faienza
Monday: Tentacle by Rita Indiana 
Wednesday: Our Child of the Stars by Stephen Cox 
Friday: The Doll’s Alphabet by Camilla Grudova 
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