Size / / /

Outside of the occasional sun-

jumper, you

seldom run into anything truly

splatterable

except in the most distant reaches

of space.

Radioactive natterjacks, leap-

frogging

from black hole to black hole;

anti-matter

bactroids; clouds of migrating

AI

heading toward the galactic

core to join

their fellow manumits; or even,

heaven forfend,

quantum medusae (a ramscoop of

these and you

can pretty much kiss your present

timeline goodbye).

Regardless, however, of constitutional

makeup, impact

with just about anything at light

speed will

pit, corrode, or otherwise gunk

up your

vehicle big time, so be sure

to keep

your scrapeware activated

no matter

how much your ship protests

(older models

will still use the raincoat in

the shower analogy)

and under no circumstances

attempt to

turn a chance encounter with

anything quasi-

forkable into an impromptu

spaceside BBQ.


Robert Borski lives in Stevens Point, Wisconsin. He is still working on perfecting his recipe for Roadkill Stew. You can see more of Robert's work in our archives.



Robert Borski works for a consortium of elves repairing shoes in Stevens Point, Wisconsin. You can read more of his work in our archives.
Current Issue
22 Apr 2024

We’d been on holiday at the Shoon Sea only three days when the incident occurred. Dr. Gar had been staying there a few months for medical research and had urged me and my friend Shooshooey to visit.
...
Tu enfiles longuement la chemise des murs,/ tout comme d’autres le font avec la chemise de la mort.
The little monster was not born like a human child, yelling with cold and terror as he left his mother’s womb. He had come to life little by little, on the high, three-legged bench. When his eyes had opened, they met the eyes of the broad-shouldered sculptor, watching them tenderly.
Le petit monstre n’était pas né comme un enfant des hommes, criant de froid et de terreur au sortir du ventre maternel. Il avait pris vie peu à peu, sur la haute selle à trois pieds, et quand ses yeux s’étaient ouverts, ils avaient rencontré ceux du sculpteur aux larges épaules, qui le regardaient tendrement.
We're delighted to welcome Nat Paterson to the blog, to tell us more about his translation of Léopold Chauveau's story 'The Little Monster'/ 'Le Petit Monstre', which appears in our April 2024 issue.
For a long time now you’ve put on the shirt of the walls,/just as others might put on a shroud.
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