If you fall in love with a vampire,
you will always feel a keen flicker of fear
when his lips linger
over the pulse point at the crook of your neck.

When dating a werewolf,
it is considered polite to leave a dish of water out
on the night of the full moon.
(A few pieces of raw beef chuck will never go amiss,
either.)

Avoid fallen angels at all costs.
They are sanctimonious.

If you find out that the cute andro-queer barista at your
local coffee shop is a witch,
understand that she has dated at least half of the women in
her coven by this point,
and every one of them will have some nasty piece of gossip
about her.

Running barefoot through the woods with a dryad
is exhilarating at first,
but over time it becomes exhausting.

The Victorian Gentlemen who crashes on your doorstep
in his H.G. Wells time machine
is guaranteed to be charming and debonair
with an impeccable fashion sense and polished manners.
Unfortunately he will also have some very regressive ideas
about gender roles.

If you have a bad breakup with a shape shifter
there is every chance that you will see them again.
But they will always be unrecognizable to you.

You will always feel the sweet, subtle ache of loss
if you choose to love a ghost.