Size / / /

Content warning:



It was fine until the shuttles from HQ
Stopped coming and my art supplies ran low
A painter has to paint so I had to get creative
Had to source locally
Yes, lots of things here are toxic
We live in a bubble where we
Grow our own food and
Make textiles from the leavings
But surely a little paint
Wouldn’t hurt anyone?
Blue from a local shell
Ground fine outside so the dust
Wouldn’t contaminate the HVAC
Red from the clay under the northern
Mountain and yellow from the rocks
Littering the face
Stabilized with local water
I prefer oils to watercolors but needs must
The new colors were beautiful
And if I’d had a sealant, some clear, thick resin
Perhaps, it would have been all right

I found out how long it would take
For the local offerings to kill us
When I hung the first painting
In Camden’s quarters—a surprise birthday gift
I meant to make him happy
And he was for a day or two
Until the illness set in
Nobody looked twice at my painting
Nobody thought to question why
I’d changed techniques
He died, slowly and horribly and
I never said a word
I just took the painting from his quarters and
Destroyed it once I got outside
I don’t paint anymore
Okay? I don't paint anymore
I’m sorry and I miss him and I miss
Art too and someday, if a ship ever
Comes back, I’m going to go home and the
First thing I’ll paint will be his portrait
Made with oils, not water—what color is regret?



Gerri Leen is a Pushcart- and Rhysling-nominated poet from Northern Virginia who's into horse racing, tea, collecting encaustic art and raku pottery, and making weird one-pan meals. She has poetry published or accepted by The Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, Dark Matter, Dreams & Nightmares, Liquid Imagination, NewMyths.com, and others. Visit gerrileen.com to see what she's been up to.
Current Issue
13 Jul 2026

The guillotine was conceived as swifter, painless, more humane. You touch your throat. You wonder.
Other LIVES Coming Along THE COSMIC DISTANCE LADDER
The shrieking of a thousand prophets and djinn, wailing for a land that was holy once
By: Aimee Ogden
Podcast read by: Jenna Hanchey
In this episode of the Strange Horizons Fiction podcast, Michael Ireland presents Aimee Ogden's 'Because I Held His Name Like a Key' read by Jenna Hanchey. Subscribe to the Strange Horizons podcast: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠
Issue 6 Jul 2026
Issue 29 Jun 2026
Issue 22 Jun 2026
Issue 15 Jun 2026
Issue 14 Jun 2026
Issue 8 Jun 2026
Issue 1 Jun 2026
Issue 25 May 2026
By: Louis Inglis Hall
Podcast read by: Emmie Christie
Issue 18 May 2026
Issue 11 May 2026
Load More