They come in a great variety
of sizes and shapes.
Whether you wish to find
or avoid them in your travels,
The Black Hole Hunter's Guide
is the most complete and accurate
source of information.
You should think of this book as analogous
to a mushroom hunter's guide,
always keeping in mind the distinction
between mushrooms and toadstools—
a person not thoroughly schooled
who wants to savor black holes
may discover ignorance can result
in one of them devouring you
rather than your experiencing the reverse.
Properly approached
(keep in mind for further comparison
any good birdwatcher's handbook),
these can be your friends
and a constant source
of intellectual nourishment.
Fitted with the proper eye and ear gear,
the devout hunter
will be able to see where the black hole,
shy creature, almost lurks,
weaving light and electromagnetic chatter
into a nest of camouflage,
and perhaps even hear its cry.
The call each produces
to announce its territory
is as distinctive
as the varieties of birdcall.
You may order a copy of the guide
on a thirty-day free trial,
available from the publisher of
Dwarf Stars for Dummies.
and Meteorites' 40 Greatest Hits.
Order now:
copies are vanishing quickly from the shelves.