Come sell us your dreams as a nightly side hustle,
make oodles of cash as you lie fast asleep;
we’ve got some machines with no fuss and no bustle,
it’s all non-invasive, you don’t have to weep.
Upload all your dreams to our dream-hosting platform,
it’s Web 3.0 and we charge not a fee;
our VR contraption allows interaction
so put up your dreams and let all your friends see.
You shouldn’t dream sweet if you want to go viral
(we mean no offence, but those tend to be cringe);
try scary, try strange, try lucid, try stressful
(but we won’t post the wet ones, no cock and no minge).
Our alg’rithm loves when your dreams can be lucid,
it’s better than Netflix if your dream has a plot,
with action and twists and PG romancing,
we’re trading in volume, so dream quite a lot.
We’ll furnish some drugs to max out your REM cycle:
our bestsellers dream twenty hours a day,
and spend their time waking on checking what’s trending,
some market research before hitting the hay.
Sponsorships favour our best dream performers,
so before you drift off, just think “KFC”;
and we do data mining as you are reclining,
to tailor our adverts to psychology.
We know that all this might sound rather intensive,
but dreamfluencers know to stick to the grind;
each second spent waking can be quite expensive,
so fall back asleep before falling behind.
On balance, you’ll find it’s a glorious living
and we swear to you now, it’s as good as it seems;
you’ll be happy and healthy and handsome and wealthy,
in every respect, it’s the life of your dreams.