I

Behold—
the future arrives on a bright screen.
Its logo gleams on every billboard:
Happy as a Clam™,
the final word in personal peace.

No more restless nights,
no more spiraling thoughts,
no more questions that refuse
to be monetized.

We bring you Biometric Shell™ Technology,
a sanctuary of seamless containment.
Let our comfort resonance lining
adjust to your measurable emotions,
whispering real-time affirmations
harvested from your browsing history.

Every exhale catalogued,
every silence
optimized.

You deserve serenity.
You deserve simplicity.
You deserve contentment.

II

Step into your shell.

You lie back—
the lid lowers with a hiss,
soft as the surf retreating.
The walls glow pearlescent,
reflecting your pulse
in ambient marketing blue.

Inside, the soundproof lining hums:
you are calm, you are calm, you are calm.

A voice—pleasant, devotional—
explains:
“Each minute within your Happy as a Clam™ pod
brings you closer to Perfect Contentment™.”

The hum learns your breath rate.
The tide synchronizes with your cortisol.
You cannot tell if you are breathing
or being breathed.

Testimonials from Verified Purchasers

“I forgot my name, and it felt like winning.”

“My family says I’ve never been happier—I don’t remember before.”

“I opened my eyes once, but there was nothing to see.”

“I love the waves. They tell me when to smile.”

III

You return to the airless daylight—
the real world, which now feels too loud,
too textured, too mortal. Uncurated.
The sky is uniform blue, a blank screen.
People speak without captions.
You can’t swipe them away.

Your skin itches from unmeasured touch.
The wind tastes of error messages.
You check your wrist for your mood index,
but there’s only pulse. Raw pulse.
Rapid. Accelerating. Awful.

You miss the hum—
its tidal anesthesia,
its mothering algorithms
that smoothed you down
to a simple serenity.

You smile at strangers, but the smile is unsynced.
Your voice sounds quarrelsome.
The silence here is desolate,
no affirmations between the words.

So you walk home,
the world too open,
the streetlamps unbranded,
the sea inside your ears calling softly—
return, return, return.

And before you’ve even noticed,
you’re already opening the hinge,
fingers trembling with need.

After all, who can resist
the promise of serenity
that fits so perfectly
to the shape of your fear?

FAQ

Q: What if I feel the urge to speak?
A: That’s natural. It means your ego is dissolving.

Q: How do I know when the session ends?
A: When the need for ending ends.

Q: Will I still be myself?
A: Of course! Just less so.

Maintenance Notice

If your shell will not reopen, congratulations.
You have achieved full integration.
Please enjoy your permanent serenity.

IV

Inside, you hear waves.
A voice says:
you’re not trapped — you’re serene.

The hum becomes holy.
Your smile seals.
Your shining eyes are twin pearls.

The voice fades—
leaving only the waves.

[Editor’s Note: Publication of this poem was made possible by a donation from Sue Archer during our annual Kickstarter.]