Stop looking directly
at all other Altairans.

Ask to visit the graves of
the enemies of her-its-his
ancestors and deface
them in an interesting way.

Breathe only through your
nose when you are in the
presence of her-it-him.

Heavily.

Offer her-it-him
as a sexual favor
to your family and friends.

If any dare accept,
give them a good thrashing.

Mind your glottals and surds.

Dozens of fresh callalafrons
delivered longitudinally
to her-its-his bedside.

Jonquils will do
if they are yellow enough.

Propose a mutual head shaping
as the third moon descends.

Never say "Never!" again.

Bruce Boston is the author of forty books and chapbooks, most recently Pitchblende (Dark Regions, 2003) and Head Full of Strange (Cyberpulp, 2003). His work has appeared in hundreds of publications and been translated into Chinese, German, Greek, Italian, Japanese, Polish, and Spanish. His previous publications in Strange Horizons can be found in our Archive. To contact him, email bruboston@aol.com.