Size / / /

With me older and grown less whole.

With me weary and self-soiled.

And admittedly unaccountable.

Far here from home that never was my home.

Down dull yellow strands,

Down roiling yellowed beaches.

That grinding, elder flywheel of shattered memory.

The liminal tumult that breaks hope and dreams alike,

indifferent and in equal measure,

as if only so much granite.

Between the stone and the whirlpool

would I betray myself

in a guise a little less than shunned Circe's ire.

I would so sink the world.

But I alone would go a-foundering.

Swine and a woodpecker and heads of seven snarling dogs.

Too, these oddly placid lions

and wolves that show their throats.

I am all those, witch and bewitched.

Drowned and, likewise, drowning brine.

I am all those.




Caitlín R. Kiernan's novels include The Red Tree and The Drowning Girl: A Memoir. Her short fiction has been collected in several volumes, including Tales of Pain and Wonder, A is for Alien, The Ammonite Violin and Others, and Two Worlds and In Between: The Best of Caitlín R. Kiernan (Volume One). She is a four-time nominee for the World Fantasy Award, an honoree for the James Tiptree Jr. Award, and has twice been nominated for the Shirley Jackson Award. Born in Dublin, Eire, she now lives in Providence, RI.
Current Issue
11 Nov 2024

Their hair permed, nails scarlet, knees slim, lashes darkly tinted.
green spores carried on green light, sleeping gentle over steel bones
The rest of the issue is on its way. We think.
In the 4th episode of SH@25, Editor Kat Kourbeti sits down with tabletop game designer and SFF critic Kyle Tam, whose young career has taken off in the last few years. Read on for an insightful interview about narrative storytelling from non-Western perspectives, the importance of schlock and trash in the development of taste, and the windows into creativity we find in moments of hardship.
After the disaster—after the litigation, the endless testimony, the needling comments of the defendant’s counsel—there is at last a settlement, with no party admitting error, and the state recognizing no victim, least of all yourself. Although the money cannot mend any of the overturned things left behind, it can pay for college, so that’s where you go next.
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