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To tell the truth, dearest ones, our home is
misnamed—by those mediums of Northern climates—
rather it reminds me, when I trouble
to remember, of late spring or early fall: fresh

and sunny, and when you wander the orchards,
your robe’s light, long sleeves swimming
with your motion, the trees bear fruit
and flower on the same branch—both delicious (of course

I’ve tasted the petals too; if anything I have only become
more curious, knowing now how much more there is
to learn). Or you can roll up those sleeves to do
some gentle garden work, meditative and

invigorating. We do not, of course, need a harvest to eat—hunger
is a memory, starvation a silly rumor—nor blossoms
to add more beauty. You know I never cared much
for flowers, but all beauty is meaningful here, and everything is

beautiful, and everything beautiful
can be trusted.

Those who prefer snug sweaters, the soothing of low
gray skies, the eloquence of pattering rain, dancing storms
of leaves in flaming colors, or the bittersweet
smoke of burning leaves, or the breathless sublime of blue

ice have their pleasant regions too. We visit them, travel as easy
as thought unless the adventure of a long journey is
desired; we meet on neutral ground, in cities lovely in
ways impossible for the living world—did this hand, in its

automatic pilgrimage across the page, write cities? I won’t
scold, yet it is our one disappointment, how difficult
communication has become. Communication with you,
that is, which goes back to what I am saying: how much

cannot be described. We have no language
anymore, except for fun, as when Sappho declaims
her newest compositions for us (accomplishing such things
with telepathic caesura!).

Remember, my loves—I remember with a laugh—how
archly we sneered at revelations that here
were cigars, and sex? Yes, both—and without the costs
your world imposes on them. To spare you blushes, I will

not say more. Though I must say
embarrassment is one thing I do not miss. Nor sneering.

   Sweethearts,
the most absorbing debate here is whether
the before-life ever existed, and if so, what

its purpose was. Sometimes I wish you would
leave me a token, selfishly, for the satisfaction
of proving my case to others
—within my own soul, I have faith. As to

why, well, I think the reason was
to teach us how to long for all these things we
dwell among, and could so easily take
for granted if we had not wanted

and found having them, until now, impossible. Do you read
what I am saying correctly?

 

 

[Editor’s Note: Publication of this poem was made possible by a gift from AJ Wentz during our annual Kickstarter.]



T.C. Mill is a bisexual, bereaved writer living in Wisconsin and working as an editor (one answer to the question “What do you even do with a philosophy degree?”). Her poetry and fiction have appeared in Litro, the anthology All Poems Are Ghosts, and Best Women’s Erotica of the Year, volume 2. She blogs at TC-Mill.com.
Current Issue
16 Dec 2024

Across the train tracks from BWI station, a portal shimmered in the shade of a patch of tall trees. From her seat on a northbound train taking on passengers, Dottie watched a woman slip a note out of her pocket, place it under a rock, strip off her work uniform, then walk naked, smiling, into the portal.
exposing to the bone just how different we are
a body protesting thinks itself as a door out of a darkroom, a bullet, too.
In this episode of SH@25, Editor Kat Kourbeti sits down with Vivian (Xiao Wen) Li to discuss her foray into poetry, screenwriting, music composition and more, and also presents a reading of her two poems published in 2022, 'Ave Maria' and 'The Mezzanine'.
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Podcast read by: Claire McNerney
Issue 11 Nov 2024
Issue 4 Nov 2024
Issue 28 Oct 2024
Issue 21 Oct 2024
By: KT Bryski
Podcast read by: Devin Martin
Issue 14 Oct 2024
Issue 7 Oct 2024
By: Christopher Blake
Podcast read by: Emmie Christie
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