Size / / /
Watergate
is a quaint bedtime story
Why send minions
on clandestine capers
when I can move like air
through my rival's HQ
caressing surveillance cameras
and blowing whisper kisses
in security guards' ears
I'm too old to run for president
but identity theft has knocked off a few years
I'm supermodel thin
and the body suit I wear
(bandages are HMO-shabby)
adds additional firmness
No cash on cosmetic surgery,
zero time on hair and makeup,
leaves more of me for you, dear voter
A woman president is nothing new,
but an invisible woman president—that's change
My opponents are hesitant
to mention my condition
(no one says "disability")
I am able to infiltrate terrorist tunnels—
my foreign policy platform—
but a fix for the economy, alas, remains
invisible.