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Her hands want to pray inside the mouth
of a tiger. Her eyes want to see the shadow of a god

cast against her bedroom wall. My mother
hardly leaves her room but the rain she’s collected

is enough for her to swim in. I’ve caught her diving
into bed & splashing wildly like a summer girl.

I’ve found her weeping at the bottom of the pool
& holding her breath under heavy sheets.

Sometimes her hair is blood-moon red & even
her pill bottles seem filled with moonlight.

She’s happiest at the idea of a pilgrimage
where we finally find our childhood

buried in the sand of an endless desert.
I carry the little girl on my back

like a tireless camel & she carries
a young frightened me to her chest

singing the song of motherhood
she didn’t know the first time



Angel Leal is a Latine, trans/nonbinary writer whose previous work appears or is forthcoming in Strange Horizons, Heartlines Spec, Uncanny, Apparition Lit, and elsewhere. They’ve been nominated for the Pushcart Prize, the Rhysling, and Best of the Net, and they're a coadmin of CALAMITOUS, a queer SFFH writing group. You can find them at angel-leal.com or on Twitter @orbiting_angel.
Current Issue
18 Nov 2024

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By: Susannah Rand
Podcast read by: Claire McNerney
In this episode of the Strange Horizons Fiction podcast, Michael Ireland presents Little Lila by Susannah Rand, read by Claire McNerney. Subscribe to the Strange Horizons podcast: Spotify
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