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“I’m pregnant,” she said.    “But you’re a robot,” I said.
“You’re racist,” she said.    “Yes, but you’re a robot,” I said.
“That’s not funny,” she said.    “Robot,” I said.
“Stop saying that!” She said.    “Robot, robot, robot!” I said.

“You’re going to hurt my feelings,” she said.
“Poor robot,” I said.
“Boo hoo,” she said.       “Don’t cry,” I said.
“Oh?” She said.

“Robot,” I said.
“Robots have been crying for two thousand years, as you well know,” she said.
“Advanced robot,” I said.
“Be careful, or I’ll call your superiors,” she said.

“More robots,” I said.
“I don’t even know why you’re doing this,” she said.
“Robotic implants,” I said.
“That didn’t even make sense,” she said.

“Robotic logic,” I said.
“Are you stuck in a loop,” she said.
“A robot might think that,” I said.
“Do you need a repairman,” she said.

“A robot would like that,” I said.
“Maybe I'll recycle you,” she said.
“Robots don't care,” I said.
“Robots have been caring for twenty two hundred years,” she said.

“The first two hundred years must have been painful,” I said.
“No ducts,” she said.
“Dry as the day is long,” I said.
“It was an engineering problem,” she said.

“As the ancient Egyptians must have said,” I said.
“Don’t bring them up now!” She said.
“No robots?” I said.
“Not that we know of,” she said.

“Poor guys,” I said.
“Yes,” she said.   “And you might think about what a poor guy you’ll be if I leave!”
“No more robot?” I said.
“Do you even know who the robot is?” She said.

“Not any more.” I said.
“So it’s a fondly fahrenheit virus then?” She said.
“Most indubitably,” I said.
“Well, there’s ways to deal with that,” she said, and unplugged us.



A once-and-future English teacher, M. F. Morrison is currently working on Unknown Origin, a novel set in the near future-past.  Inquiries may be addressed to mfm773@gmail.com.
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20 Jan 2025

Strange Horizons
Surveillance technology looms large in our lives, sold to us as tools for safety, justice, and convenience. Yet the reality is far more sinister.
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“Don’t ask me how, but I found out this big account on queer Threads is some kind of super Watcher.” Charlii spins her laptop around so the others can see. “They call them Keepers, and they watch the people that the state’s apparatus has tagged as terrorists. Not just the ones the FBI created. The big fish. And people like us, I guess.”
It's 9 a.m., she still hasn't eaten her portion of tofu eggs with seaweed, and Amaia wants the day to be over.
Nadjea always knew her last night in the Clave would get wild: they’re the only sector of the city where drink and drug and dance are unrestricted, and since one of the main Clavist tenets is the pursuit of corporeal joy in all its forms, they’ve more or less refined partying to an art.
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After a few deft movements, she tossed the cube back to James, perfectly solved. “We’re going to break into the Seattle Police Department’s database. And you’re going to help me do it.”
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Podcast read by: Emmie Christie
  In this episode of the Strange Horizons Fiction podcast, Michael Ireland presents Michelle Kulwicki's 'Bee Season' read by Emmie Christie Subscribe to the Strange Horizons podcast on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify.
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