Size / / /

After the divorce, my wife said she didn't know who or what she wanted to be. When I heard that she had become a toaster, I felt vindicated. A toaster! Was that all she could be without me? And she wasn't even good at it. She could only do two slices at a time, and they came out charred on one side and white on the other. Obviously, she was the one with inadequacies.

True, I was unemployed myself. But a toaster! I would never fall as low as that. I would take a job as a human being, or I'd stay on the dole.

Later, she worked as a hotel washing machine, then as a high-capacity dryer until she was demoted. She became one of those laundry hampers with four wheels and a canvas hopper. Finally, she lost even that job.

Soon, however, I felt less and less like gloating. I still couldn't find any work at all, no matter how I tried.

I next saw her while on my way to an interview for janitorial work at a hospital. She was in the parking lot, backed into a reserved space. And she was stunning.

There was no mistaking her, even with all the changes. She had white sidewalls. Her body was lustrous teal everywhere but on the inward curving white panels that streaked back from her front wheels. Her chrome sparkled in the sun.

I just stood there in front of her, searching for something to say until a man came out of the hospital and walked up to her.

"Beautiful, isn't she?" he said, fitting a key into her door. "I restored her," he said, "built her up a little from her original 283 small block, gave her some juice. Dual-Carter-carbed. You know cars? Want to see under the hood?"

His generosity made me uncomfortable. "No."

I hadn't noticed the plates until now. They said "MD." He was a doctor.

"She's the finest 1960 Corvette on the road," he said, patting her roof affectionately.

She was older than that. But damn if she didn't look 1960.

"She used to be mine."

"What?"

"I said she used to be mine."

"I know something about her history," he said, trying to keep a smile in place.

"She was mine. She once belonged to me."

All the friendliness went out of his face. "I don't think so." He opened her door.

"Sure, just because she's gleaming now, you don't think she could ever have been attached to someone like me!"

"I said nothing of the sort." He got in and closed the door. He started her. The way her engine hummed, I could tell she was getting only the best of everything.

He revved her, but he couldn't drive off. I was in the way. I glared. He glared.

I looked from his face to the checkered flags of her hood ornament. Those little flags did something to me. This was a side of her I had never imagined.

He rolled down the window. "Get out of the way," he said.

Oh, the sun on her satiny finish. The gleam of her front grille. . . .

He raced her engine again, menacingly now, then started to pull forward. He might have run me over, but she stalled out. She still cared. But it was too late for reconciliations.

He started her again. I felt all the regret that I had concealed with my gloating. Too late. Too late to change anything.

I stepped out of their way and let them drive off together. I went in for my interview, and I got the job.

I am . . . a mop.


Bruce Holland Rogers lives in Eugene, Oregon, and writes genre fiction and literary fiction. His stories have won two Nebula Awards, a Bram Stoker Award, and a Pushcart Prize. Rogers recently edited an anthology, Bedtime Stories to Darken Your Dreams (IFD Publishing). He has two short story collections due out this year: Wind Over Heaven (Wildside Press) and Flaming Arrows (IFD Publishing). For more about him, see his Web site; for more about his work, see the Panisphere site.



Bruce Holland Rogers lives in Eugene, Oregon, and writes genre fiction and literary fiction. His stories have won two Nebula Awards, a Bram Stoker Award, and a Pushcart Prize. Rogers recently edited an anthology, Bedtime Stories to Darken Your Dreams (IFD Publishing). He has two short story collections due out this year: Wind Over Heaven (Wildside Press) and Flaming Arrows (IFD Publishing). Bruce's previous appearance in Strange Horizons was "Estranged." For more about him, see his Web site; for more about his work, see the Panisphere site.
Current Issue
30 Sep 2024

I did not hear the sky crack open
And she shows me her claws.
In colonial south India and in other parts of South Asia, then, there existed established theories of imagination and the mind as well as established literary traditions of fantasy that make the question of the known and unknown, the real and unreal, an impossible one.
This episode was frustrating and hilarious, just like so many things in life. What do the last two episodes have in store for us? Maybe something coherent happens in the story? Maybe an appearance by verbally abusive rocks? Plants that extensively quote things with no reliable source?
SH@25 is a new, year-long interview and feature series that will delve into the archives, celebrate the work of past contributors and staff, and highlight the contributions of Strange Horizons to SFF publishing and the wider community.
Issue 23 Sep 2024
By: LeeAnn Perry
Art by: nino
Issue 16 Sep 2024
Issue 9 Sep 2024
Issue 2 Sep 2024
Issue 26 Aug 2024
Issue 19 Aug 2024
Issue 12 Aug 2024
Issue 5 Aug 2024
Issue 29 Jul 2024
Issue 15 Jul 2024
Load More