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You tell me

Oh baby we just need

To get it on

You tell me

Sex is what makes us human

 

I just need to try it

Again, perhaps,

If it did not work the first time

Again

Yeah, again

Sex is what makes us human

 

I made myself cry

Going into this

Is it not natural?

How can you say you do not want it?

 

There must

Be something

Wrong

With me

I get drunk and feel strong

I scream in rollercoasters

I cry at movies

I devour books whole

When I write I

Feel free

I am free

I

 

But sex

Our enjoyment of it

Is what makes us

Differ

From the animals

The animals

Rutting, mindless animals

 

I do not enjoy it

There must be something

Wrong with me

You say

There must

Be something wrong

With me

 

 

Well you see

I like the feel

Of a book’s spine

In my hands

Still unbroken

I like

The taste of orange

Bursting on my tongue

I like when I

Close my eyes

And see

Your face

I like

Wine on a summer’s day

 

Scott tells me

‘be virtuous’

Will tells me

‘to a nunnery’

Gustave tells me

None of it matters

Do you want to be made love to,

Or do you want to be fucked?

 

Neither, I say

And you scoff at me

I like

Wine on a summer’s day

The love of my life

Does not like rollercoasters

I do not push

I love rollercoasters

The love

Of my

Life

Does not like wine

Does not like alcohol

 

I feel

A freak

Going crying

From a doctor’s office

This Obsession

Everyone has

That I do not share

 

I joke

About it

Even to me

Sex is funny

And I am

Too

Smart-mouthed

To keep it shut

(it is the only smart thing about me)

 

Sex is funny

When it’s a joke

 

I like wine on a summer’s day

I like the taste of orange bursting on my tongue

I like the love of my life, their face, their voice, their hair

I like the crack of a book’s spine broken in my hands

I like when I see your

Face

 

Dear Mary’s creature asked

Is there none in the world like me,

And am I then a monster?

If I could only love

Despite my

‘defect’

If there was only some like me

 

If I could only love

(it is synonymous with sex

Is it not)

I say

To the love of my life

And they hold me

And remind me

It is not

And you can

 

And I do



Nikoline Kaiser is a Danish student with a BA in Comparative Literature, currently located in Aarhus and aspiring to make it big, or at least medium, in Literature. More of her work can be found at https://nikolinekaiser.wordpress.com/.
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29 Apr 2024

The Lightning Road cuts far across the Cosmos, a streak of dazzling gold amidst the star-studded void.
daily you suppress it and ride the shame / like a surfer rides a monster wave,
somersaulting in continuous turns
two wolves lope / behind the Atlantic
The thing is; I don’t set out to write neurodivergent characters. I write people – fictional people who are drawn from the people around me, the way I experience the world, and my understanding of these experiences. Too bad if other people refuse to afford my experiences as being real or relatable.
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