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Content warning:


An olive, perhaps, stuffed with something bitter.
A mortgage statement wrapped around an artichoke.
It must be something mature; no teenaged hot hot hot sauce.
No boasts or man-child char-broiled contest; no, something
your grandmother would consume.
But she has her secret scotch against the cold, and ate
many grim and tasteless things to stretch the stew
to the end of the month. Do not discount her.
You will be tempted to mix cigars and cloves and motor oil
To roll them in your taxes and the discarded page of colonoscopy instructions
But remember you will have to eat the final product, that the spell will only work
If you don't choke.
Coffee seemed perfect at first but now you have doubts
It's so easy to buy it in marshmallow form, or as a popsicle, or in a juice box
It won't start a pickup truck any more, you're pretty sure, if it ever did.

I will tell you a secret.
Once you've dressed in nylons and a tie, cast the square, and swallowed the item you chose
To mark the start of adulthood, or the end of childhood
You're not sure which, the paperwork never reached you
Once you've drunk it down, or eaten it entire:
There is no sign.
Did you succeed, or fail, or some wretched middle thing?
Are you accruing now valorous deeds, fathomless debt, or unwanted magazine subscriptions?
In this uncertainty you now dwell.
Welcome. We're here too.



Brooke Abbey is a disabled, transmasculine, queer single parent, putting him at the cutting edge of dad joke technology. He is a pharmacist specializing in compounding and immunization, and is grateful that mad science and stabbing people is a viable career path. He has a Pegasus Award-winning album of filk songs played on the banjo, and if that doesn't terrify you, you can investigate at: https://brookeabbey.com/album/steel-cage-match
Current Issue
25 Sep 2023

People who live in glass houses are surrounded by dirt birds
After a century, the first colony / of bluebirds flew out of my mouth.
Over and over the virulent water / beat my flame down to ash
In this episode of  Critical Friends , the Strange Horizons SFF criticism podcast, Aisha and Dan talk to critic and poet Catherine Rockwood about how reviewing and criticism feed into creative practice. Also, pirates.
Writing authentic stories may require you to make the same sacrifice. This is not a question of whether or not you are ready to write indigenous literature, but whether you are willing to do so. Whatever your decision, continue to be kind to indigenous writers. Do not ask us why we are not famous or complain about why we are not getting support for our work. There can only be one answer to that: people are too busy to care. At least you care, and that should be enough to keep my culture alive.
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