Size / / /

I do not want to be a butterfly or a phoenix anymore.
Give me batteries, recharged and full of acid;
give me decay & earth, roots and mud, or
a vicious lightning strike in a storm—one
that turns the ground to electric earth & pulls
the tree's parts inside out. That is my new
transgender totem. As if we need to take
spirit animals ("appropriated!" you yell
& I listen while writing letters to Thomas Harris
that he'll never read about his transmisogyny in
calling Buffalo Bill a deviant & never using "she")
away from the past generations to skin them,
and make them into something new. We cannot keep
stealing from other people and calling it our own. That's
what the doctors and the nurses and everyone else
did when they made us fill out forms. Stop
skinning your history thinking it will make
a cool dreamcatcher for your future. It's not cute & it won't.
Relish the skin you have. Demented and scarred.
Plain and stretch marked. Tattooed, of course.
Forget the birds and the bats and the king rats
you feel yourself you are. Remember your bones.
Remember your tomes of identity, and whittle it down
to the ink inside your skin. Marrow. We are not hollow
at our cores, but I assure you, no one—not animal
not beast, not me—is trapped inside anybody anymore.




Evelyn Deshane’s creative and nonfiction work has appeared in Plenitude Magazine, Briarpatch Magazine, The Atlantic, Lackington’s, and Bitch Magazine, among other publications. Evelyn (pron. Eve-a-lyn) received an MA from Trent University and is currently completing a PhD at the University of Waterloo. Evelyn’s most recent project #Trans is an edited collection about transgender and nonbinary identity online. Visit evedeshane.wordpress.com for more info.
Current Issue
20 Jan 2020

Corey slipped his hand into the puppet’s back, like he had done many times with the doctor who made him talk about Michael and bathtubs and redness. His breath and stomach squeezed whenever he reached into dark, invisible places.
By: Justin C. Key
Podcast read by: Anaea Lay
In this episode of the Strange Horizons podcast, editor Anaea Lay presents Justin C. Key's “One Hand in the Coffin.”
But I thought of apple skin clinging to a curve, yet unshaped by apple-sorcery.
By: Jessica P. Wick
Podcast read by: Ciro Faienza
In this episode of the Strange Horizons podcast, editor Ciro Faienza presents Jessica P. Wick's “Sap and Superstition.”
I love the idea of representing folk stories and showcasing the culture of my country in a different way.
There’s this emphasis on the impact we have on the world, that I saw in a lot of these stories.
Friday: Small Waiting Objects by T. D. Walker 
Issue 13 Jan 2020
By: Julianna Baggott
Podcast read by: Anaea Lay
By: Terese Mason Pierre
Podcast read by: Ciro Faienza
Podcast read by: Terese Mason Pierre
Issue 6 Jan 2020
By: Mitchell Shanklin
Podcast read by: Anaea Lay
By: Nikoline Kaiser
Podcast read by: Nikoline Kaiser
Podcast read by: Ciro Faienza
Issue 23 Dec 2019
By: Maya Chhabra
Podcast read by: Maya Chhabra
Podcast read by: Ciro Faienza
Issue 16 Dec 2019
By: Osahon Ize-Iyamu
Podcast read by: Anaea Lay
By: Liu Chengyu
Podcast read by: Ciro Faienza
Issue 9 Dec 2019
By: SL Harris
Podcast read by: Anaea Lay
By: Jessy Randall
Podcast read by: Ciro Faienza
Issue 2 Dec 2019
By: Sheldon Costa
Podcast read by: Anaea Lay
By: Mari Ness
Podcast read by: Ciro Faienza
Issue 25 Nov 2019
By: Nisa Malli
Podcast read by: Ciro Faienza
Podcast read by: Nisa Malli
Issue 18 Nov 2019
By: Marika Bailey
Podcast read by: Anaea Lay
By: Alicia Cole
Podcast read by: Ciro Faienza
Issue 11 Nov 2019
By: Rivqa Rafael
Podcast read by: Anaea Lay
By: Mary McMyne
By: Ugonna-Ora Owoh
Podcast read by: Mary McMyne
Podcast read by: Ciro Faienza
Issue 28 Oct 2019
By: Kelly Stewart
Podcast read by: Ciro Faienza
Podcast read by: Kelly Stewart
Monday: Aniara 
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